I took the above photo earlier today at a maternity session. I absolutely adore the little girl in the picture. I wouldn't trade my two boys for the world, and if we ever have a third, it's no secret I'd be cheering for team blue once again - but there's just something about sparkly butterfly wings and a tutu!

UPDATED to say: This photo made it to the #1 spot on Flickr's Interestingness Page 1 for 07.30.06, including being the calendar view image and on Explore.

Up until this weekend, the last time I bought a pair of jeans (other than maternity) was 1999. And even then it was only to buy the exact same pair of Levis 560s that I'd owned since college in one larger size. I found them at Ross for $12.99 - and really, who can say no to that?

When my post-second-baby weight loss really kicked in earlier this summer, I was able to pull out my old "college stash" of jeans again and fit into a pair from the Limited that my butt hadn't squeezed into since the mid 90s. But the weight kept dropping off and I was beginning to look less the role of mommy-photographer and more the role of local plumber, even in my old "skinny jeans". Unfortunately for me, I didn't realize just how much jean-design had changed in the last decade. Also unfortunately for me, I had my husband and two sons along for the ride since this is "tax-free shopping week" in the state of Florida.

First stop was the Gap. Literally having no idea what size I actually am now, I grabbed a pair in every size and took the long walk down dressing room lane. Since I can fit in my wedding dress again, I took a gamble and grabbed the 8 first. (My wedding dress was a size 6.) They were too baggy. Tried the 6 in that style, too. Also too big. But I'm not that blonde and knew better than to even think "4", so I tried another style in an 8. Could barely get that one over my hips. Tried another style in a 10 and it wouldn't even stay on my hips. So I tried on the 6 in that style. It fit, but I'd also be singing soprano after about 10 minutes.

Am I missing something? Do they sell steel-toed underwear now so you can avoid the camel with today's styles? Do you have your choice of either "mom jeans" or J-Lo with nothing in between? I gave up on the Gap, defeated, and still having no clue what size I actually wear...

Next stop was Eddie Bauer. Complete waste of time. I took back a 6, 8, and 10 in the two styles they had to offer. I think the 6 sort of fit for one of them, but I would've had to spackle in a good 3" of my ass-crack just to squat down and take a photograph.

So we took a break at the food court since the troops were getting restless, and then headed over to American Eagle. I started off with sales girl (excuse me, "sales associate") this time and flat-out asked, "What pair of jeans do you sell with the tallest waistline - I don't like to advertise the fact that I am - or am not - wearing thong underwear." She sent me back to the dressing room with one style that "might" work, guessing I was a size 6 or 8 there. I started with the 8 first so as not to be too depressed if the lower number didn't work this time, and I didn't even bother to zip them up. The elastic Victoria's Secret band on my undies was a good 3" above the top of the "waist" band of the jeans.

At this point my boys were tiring of sitting in their strollers. A quick waltz-through of the teen convention in JCPenney had us turning right back around and searching for the nearest exit.

I was seriously about ready to throw my hands up in the air and settle for track pants. Again. But considering I can't keep up the pairs of those I own either...that only meant more shopping...

Out of desperation, I was almost pulled against my will by some higher power into "New York & Company". And lo and behold, there were jeans hanging on the wall with an area from waist to crotch that looked taller than 2cm. So once again I grabbed three sizes and went back to the dressing room. Defense shield up. The fitted (a.k.a. "won't slide down my ass when in motion"), stretchy pair fit first try — size 8. Huzzah! And on my way out of the dressing room the sales girl (excuse me, "sales associate") happened to note they were on sale "buy one pair, get the second for $15". You mean if I own two pair I don't have to come back and shop for jeans again for another decade? Where do I sign up? But of course...it turned out they only had one size 8 in stock in the color and style I had in my hands.

<insert sounds of my boys beginning to lose it...again>

So I find another pair in the same style, different color. My husband is all like, "Jackpot. Let's go." But I knew better. Something told me to take that pair back - in three sizes - just to make sure. But did the 8s fit on that pair? Well that would make things just a little too easy, now wouldn't it?! For the second pair (again, exact same style) I was a size 6. And those didn't fit too well - there was a huge gap in the back. I was about to walk out without taking advantage of the sale (me, not taking advantage of a sale) when I found yet another color of that style on a table near the register.

And even though I got "the look™", I headed back to the dressing room - three sizes of the third color in hand - and prepared to do battle. I emerged victorious with a size 8 that fit the same as the first pair. We quickly paid and bailed before our boys huffed and puffed and blew the place down.

It goes without saying, I didn't get a pair of shoes.