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And in your place, an empty space

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The above Lomo photograph was shot in Summer 2003. You can see it, and others, at our sorely neglected site lomo-motion.com.


Two years ago today started out like any other ordinary weekend day. We slept in late. Decided the weather was too beautiful to stay cooped up inside. Grabbed our cameras. And headed down to the Pinellas beaches to enjoy the Memorial Day holiday.

Then I got home and checked voicemail.

I still remember the moment I heard her voice like it was yesterday. I still don't think I'm fully recovered from the shock of it all.

But in one of those strange turn of events in life...ashes to ashes, dust to dust...just a few short weeks later we would learn I was pregnant. A pregnancy I would keep — that of our first son. Not only that, but soon after our conception date was estimated at the first ultrasound. And that date? May 22, 2003. The very same day that Kevin took his own life.

I've always felt in some strange way that Kevin had a talk with God on our behalf after he passed away. He knew how long we'd tried for a baby, and had failed. He knew how much it had ripped me apart over the years. And the timing? Well maybe it's just the way I choose to find comfort and make sense of it all, whether or not it makes sense to anyone else. One friend keeps Kevin on his mailing list and still sends him the frequent group-updates on his child's progress. And I whisper constant "thank you's" to him for helping convince the Man Upstairs to give us the one thing that's brought us more joy and happiness than we even knew life was capable of providing...

So thanks again. And I miss you, Kev.


posted on 05.25.2005 @ 8:53 AM :: mail a comment  
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Original images and works ©2001-2007 to Todd and Robyn
Orlando and Tampa area newborn and maternity photographer

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